Poetry
Deema Derawan's poetry explores the emotional, spiritual, and existential dimensions of the human experience.
Following her first existential crisis at the age of twelve, she began channeling her thoughts, questions, and emotions onto paper, finding refuge in writing as a tool for alchemy and healing.
What began as a means of navigating life's complexities evolved into a lifelong creative practice rooted in reflection, observation, and meaning-making.
Through lyrical and contemplative language, her work weaves together themes of love, longing, transformation, grief, beauty, and belonging, inviting readers into deeper connection with themselves and the world around them.
Dec 17, 2012, 12:44 PMThis reminds me of the most terrible feeling.When your pain is tangible. You can reach out and touch it. It’s everywhere, consuming you. You don’t even realise how long it’s been eating away at your insides until you finally cave in and crumble helplessly, crashing, spiralling down, hopeless. The terrible tightening in your chest, the constriction of your lungs, the deep, shuddering breaths in as you try to hold back the inevitable- then you break. Now comes the painful, wracking sobs, screaming silently, your damaged self seeping out through the cracks that you flimsily repair each time you fall apart. But this time, those cracks have split wide open, leaving gaping holes in your being. You wail for a long time, weeping pitifully as you cry yourself a pool of self-sympathy, until you are empty,
Sun, Feb 24, 2013, 5:33 PMI’m restlessunsettledtwitchyalone, I am lonelywith others, suffocatedhands shakejoints achelegs running in placechemically controlledall I want is open fieldsall I want is a permanent homeMon, Mar 25, 2013, 9:20 PMWe think of hell as some fiery dark place filled with hate and people who are horrible but isn’t that what our world is? People constantly hate each other, hating themselves, hating the things people do, hating the world around them – so why wouldn’t this be the hell of another planet, because there’s sure as hell enough hate to go around.
Fri, Aug 30, 2013, 12:56 AMI try not to think about it muchI keep saying its nothing to really care aboutI keep thinking that it's not worth to talk aboutI drown my sadness As if I'm drowning my own soulDeep into the ocean of my thoughtsHoping it won't float back upBut it comes back like a hunter in a killing season Like a monster waiting to frighten the childI am no longer in control I am taken awayDeeply into the darknessIt is my secretIt is my sad little secret
Fri, Mar 7, 2014, 12:16 AMI still smell like youCigarettes and cologne Your soul haunts mineWhen I'm drunk and alone Can I bring back a false memory?How is it false when everything seems to be so lucid and vivid Tonight, I'm taken awayBy the midnight thoughtsAnd aches of broken promisesYou've left toxinsIn the garden of my soul I'd like to chew you and spit you outDrink your poison and purge it outTonight, I am in control I'm no longer committed to the demons inside of meI'm no longer attached to my insanityThis is no longer a mental tragedyI'm desperately clinging to recovery Don't want to slip back to my old habitsDon't want to get get dragged back into that horrid black hole of lost dreams and hopeless goals I wanna feel like a queenI wanna have that healthy dose of self loveTired of all the corruption Tired of all the endless warsTonight, I let go of of my overwhelming sadness
Mon, May 5, 2014, 12:10 AM I crave himHis lips Oh how I long for that kissHis eyesI could stare at them and dieHis armsI want to be held by themWhat the fuckThis is not a poem.
Fri, Jun 20, 2014, 2:07 AMyou listen to the silenceand realize the absenceof feeling your emotionsyour heart is idle for a whileyour soul is vacant and you're takenby the misery and fuckeryof this world's goddamn tragediesyou see it is quite of an ironyto be born with an unknown destinyto be told what to dreamand what to doand who to bebut don't listen to mego on and be another zombieof this fucked up society you realize you're another slavethat will soon end up in a gravedarling your heart is tiredand it's time to retiresleep for quite a long whileyou may be a young soulbut you still have a long way to goand with each scar you growwith each high there is a lowto destroy yourself you must resistto find balance you must insistI know what it's like to be emotionless
Wed, Jul 23, 2014, 5:37 PMWith silence I layon a persian carpet of royal hayhair shines from the summertime sun rays a sky ever so doleful and greyjust as the clouds drift awayand the cigarette smoke dances in the airso faded and dazedI lay, I laya painting of its own wayso effortless and untamedif only the beauty of the universecould kill this bitterness if only the strength of the ocean wavescould fill in the alleys of hate it’s one of july’s warmest days yet the shiver down my spine remainswith bones that achewith hands that shakeI lay, I lay
13 March 2017 at 12:31 amDistract yourselfTell yourself you're happyCall your momMake her believe you're okayAnd when it's 3 in the morningStare deep into your own eyesAnd ask yourselfWhat color are theyThink about all the things that have been on your mindThink about all of your mistakesThink of your pastThink of your futureYour presentNow start panickingWhere did it all go wrong?What led you to this?How long do you have to keep fighting it?You think to yourselfAre the good days really worth it if they're so rare to come by?You go up to your roofYou stare at the moonAnd think to yourselfWill I ever be alright?Will I ever be at peace?21 October 2017 at 6:07 pmI want you to know that it’s okay and that you are surrounded by people who love and care about you. I want you to know that no matter how deep you may feel you are in this, that there is hope for a better future and a more peaceful one. I want you to take a deep breath, and to take every day by day, and to dedicate time to yourself, to your family, your friends, and loved one. I want you to be kind and gentle to yourself and to everyone you love. Listen to good music, eat slowly, enjoy the things you love, Be patient, be soft, tender, and loving. You’ve survived until this point and you can keep going. I believe in you.A Prayer to The ElementsDear Wind,Would you please carry my spirit with the thin airto the land of liberty and peace?Let it set free~to feel nothing but love,contentment,and ease.Dear Ocean,I long to swim in your watersuntil I reach the other end of the world.Flow with the waves of loveand forget about all the chaos on this planet.Dear Fire,Please burn my sadness into ashesand let it drift off into another universe,where it settles and smolders,becoming compostfor a gentler world.Dear Earth,I want the thin cracks I skip overon city streetsto stretch wide openand swallow all the hatethat has taken over world.Dear You,I hope you don’t suffer for long.I hope you find your peace in life.I hope you realize that life can be kind.There is a light~and it’ll shine so bright.An Ode to The MoonA full moon so bright in the skyA night in which I feel most aliveIt's so lovely to finally reachThe highs along the lowsIndeed it's a long road to goThe emotions that are compelled to feelAre what the soul needs to healThe downsides of the journeyAre to embrace not to worryso darling come along and join melet us drink the positive energyget high on soulful poetrylet us wander and get lostin the alleys of life and its philosophyand with the muses we get drunk on artcelebrate what awakens the heartexplore what this life has to offerliving is a pleasure not to sufferThe Road to Peace:Develop a weekly ritual for yourself such as going to the beach on SaturdaysSave enough money to get a new piercing or tattoo every month.Practice intermittent fasting (stop eating after 6 or 7..)Keep room clean and neat and organize your space in a manner that would bring you peace.Write. Write a lot. Write everything that’s in your head.Make a new piece of art every week.Read something that nourishes your soul every night before you sleep.Destruction is a form of Creation.When you start to experience your world fallIng apart, breaking down, shifting, and disintegrating, know that you’re on the verge of transformation. You are, in fact, evolving, and what comes next is always worth it.It is the path of the spiral — regressions and progressions. Stay grounded, release your fear of the unknown, cultivate patience, and watch as the magic of your path begins to unfold.Let love in.Allow it to move through you and nurture you. Let it hold your entire being in times of fear, confusion, and self doubt.Let it be the armor that you put on everyday as you face the world.Love is the strongest force, it is the most sustainable and reliable source. It is the power that transmutes whatever discomfort you may feel into freedom.Love is what sets you free.The Game We Came Here to PlayComing back home to myself,Reconnecting with my body,Remembering my essence.Who am I, really?Beyond my name,My shape,My vessel,My identity.Who am I?Beyond all that’s been bestowed upon me,I am no one,Yet someone.A soul,Reincarnated,Here on this earth.I came to learn,To explore,To play,To love,And to be loved.My dedication to growthSometimes pulls meOut of my own flow.I get tired.And then I remember,It’s part of the game.All of it.The rising,The resting,The forgetting,The remembering.It’s all part of the gameWe came here to play.On Faith and FearFaith and fear are two sides of the same coin…Both make you believe in something you can’t see.Fear leads to negative thoughts and emotions in your body… What if I fail? What if I don’t know what to do? What if people judge me?Faith leads to positive thoughts and emotions in your body… What if I succeed? What if I find my purpose? What if people are inspired by my example?Remember that you have a choice. You always have a choice. And when you feel like you don’t, just give it up to the divine.The Chase
Tired of hiding,Tired of chasing,I am hereIn the nowNo where to goNo place to beBut hereRight in the nowOn Love & War
love,it’s the only thingi ever wantto fill my heart with.i always dreamt of a world where there isless hate,less violence,less crime,no war.a world that vibrateson the frequency ofmore peace,more love,more unity,and no war.how do we still live in a worldwhere war continues to exists?i always thought of loveto be the ultimate truth,And I question what love can doIn such brutal times ofchildren being murdered,families being evicted?love’s warmth can soothein gaza’s land, may love take root.for in this world,let our hearts uniteto end the darkness,And find the light,I pray for a better world,Where love’s light can shine,all in due time.Running thoughts: thoughts while running: Sometimes we have to repeat the same lesson over and over again until it becomes ingrained in our psyche. The dark times may reappear to show us where we still need to heal. It’s the path of the spiral. My intention is to translate all of that onto a canvas and through my artistic practices. That is alchemy at its best.When you’re in an activated state, drop everything you think you should do and just be. Be with yourself, with your emotions, and nurture whatever is coming through. Remember your power. You are a healer. You have the power to transmute all that comes through. Contrast is necessary in order for you to experience the brighter polarity. The key is non attachment. Witness the pain without being consumed by it. To observe without attachment is the highest form of intelligence.Reflections on Love:How do you know if it's love or attachment?I often pondered upon the difference between the two. However, clarity finally hit me as I nibbled on a bowl of açaí and fruit.Love is a feeling of expansion in your chest. It’s boundless, and limitless. It’s warm and tender. Gentle and patient. Love feels good; it feels safe. Love makes you smile, it makes your time worthwhile. Love brings out the best in you; love celebrates you. It showers you with bliss and brings you joy. Love, is a feeling of expansion. Attachment, on the other hand, feels tight in your chest. It’s fearful and dependent. It’s needy and clingy. Insecure and uneasy. So, next time you find yourself pondering upon this question, notice the difference in the sensation between the two, then ask yourself, is it love or attachment?The answer will always lie within.Love is letting go. Attachment is holding on.SHAMEWhy do you hide behind shame?
Why do you hide behind the shadows of your pain?
I have lived a thousand and one lifetimes before,
Experienced death after death,
Only to come back home to myself.
The capacity to feel is the capacity to heal.
Release your shame,
Release your pain,
Release the toxins and break free from the chains.
The antidote to shame is empathy.
Embrace your power,
Embrace your strength,
Embrace the love and let it course through your veins.ANGERAnger washes over me,
I feel it pulsing through my body.
It is in my head,
It is in my chest.
I'm clenching my jaw,
I'm clenching my fists.
It is bitter and resentful,
Intoxicating and debilitating.
Anger makes me want to scream,
It clouds my judgment,
And blinds my vision.
It is silent yet loud,
Holding sadness,
and control.
I feel it in my veins,
I feel it in my bones.
It echoes and roars,
Anger washes all over me
To tell me where I've been wronged,
And how much I’ve been in pain.GRIEFEGO, SOUL.
SOUL, EGO.
I GRIEVE, AND I GRIEVE, AND I GRIEVE.
I GRIEVE
THE LOST PARTS OF YOU IN ME, I GRIEVE.
I GRIEVE
THE LOST PARTS OF ME IN YOU, I GRIEVE.
I GRIEVE
THE LOST MEMORY OF US AS ONE, I GRIEVE.
I GRIEVE
THE LOSS OF OUR FRIENDSHIP.
I GRIEVE
THE LOSS OF OUR CONNECTION.
I GRIEVE
THE SADNESS.
I GRIEVE
THE PAIN.
I GRIEVED IT ALL,
UNTIL IT FADED AWAY.NatureNature,it’s where I feelmost at home.I flow with her seasonsand I let them flowthrough me.I feel her deeply,as she is in me,and I,I come from her.Nature,it’s where I returnhome to myself.From summer,to fall,to winter,and spring.Life,death,rebirth,and again.She is my greatest healer,my wisest teacher.She heals mewhen I walk her sacred grounds,when I press my palmsagainst her trees.I hear her voice in the rustling leaves,and in that stillness,I find peace.Oh Mother Earth,thank you.Thank you for holding me.Thank you for nurturing me.Thank you for teaching me.Thank you.Thank you.Thank you.RestDo you honor your “lulls”? Do you see them as sacred times calling your body, mind, and spirit to rest? We can’t always be at a high, constantly creating and outputting. Sometimes, the most important thing we can do is to simply rest and allow ourselves to be.
We are called ‘human beings,’ not ‘human doings.’ Trust in the divine timing of your activations, and honor those moments when you’re called to pause. Life is cyclical, and just like nature, we move through our seasons.
Embrace the stillness—and just rest.
#lifetheyinwaySacred Feminine RageNo,
You will not
Silence us.
Nor
Can you
Belittle us.
Force us,
Oppress us,
Shame us,
Or control us.
There is a
Sacred
Rage,
And that is
A feminine one.
One
Which has been
Brewing
Far too long.
Long enough
For it has
Turned bitter,
And intoxicating.
It is time
We reclaim
Our power.
We are
The birthers.
We bring life
Into existence.
We are
The mothers,
Raising
The children
Of tomorrow.
We are the warriors,
Fighting battles
Each day,
Of suppression,
Of oppression,
Inequality,
and injustice.
We are god’s manifest
In human form.
We are the
Goddesses,
Our wombs
Being portals
To creation.
It is time
We reclaim
Our voices.
To sing,
And roar.
Bring truth
And restore,
Harmony
Into this world.
We see,
We feel,
We heal.
The feminine rage,
Is a sacred one.
It is soft,
Yet powerful.
Like the wind’s breeze,
Turned into storm.Sacred & EvilSomewhere between life and death,
Awareness and ignorance,
Love and hate,
There is a silence.
A space,
To breathe.
You see,
Life exists within these polarities.
Strip away all the noise,
The names,
The choices to make.
You will see,
It’s all the same.
It’s all sacred.
All evil.
All together.
All at once.On CommunityCommunity,a chosen family.
A web of threads,
weaving us together.
Interconnected,
From one heart to another.
Creating the future,
through a shared collective vision,
we dare to dream together.
We gather to create,
and in that creation,
lives complexity.
We each carry our own truths,
our own colors,
our own ways of seeing,
and ways of being.
That’s the beauty,
and the challenge.
I believe the future depends on this:
how well we can build
peaceful, harmonious communities.
This is the work.
This IS the work.
If we don’t do it,
if we keep turning away,
the same patterns of the past
will continue to echo forward.
History repeats itself,
until we break those chains.
When we come closer,
triggers will arise.
Shadows may surface too.
This is natural,
as we become mirrors for one another.
Reflecting what’s unspoken,
what’s unhealed.
The question is:
What will we do
with what we see?
Can we hold space
for one another?
Can we love the darkness
in each other?
Can we remember, always,
the light we each carry inside?
Let us radiate that light.
Let us come together,
and create,
in unity and in harmony.
Let us break down the old paradigms
and build something new.
Something more whole.
The power is here now,
within us.
Remember your why.
Let us hold this power,
let us cherish it,
let us shine it,
so bright.
And so it is,
So mote it be.I Feel, Therefore I amDecartes says,I think,Therefore I am.But to me,It ismore ofI feel,Therefore I am.It is through my sensesthat I take inmy experienceand the worldaround me.And sometimes,It gets a bit much.Then I ground myself,I breathe.I let myself feel.I embrace the discomfortAnd feel it all.Because just likeClouds passing by,Our feelings arise,And fall again.Nothing in life is permanentAnd the only constant is change.Shedding SkinsShifting phases,Shedding skins.Reclaiming the lost parts of me,Reclaiming the infinite power that exists within me.Coming back home to myself,
Reconnecting with my body,
Remembering my essence.Who am I, really?Beyond my name,
My shape,
My vessel,And my identity.Who am I?Beyond all that’s been bestowed upon me.
I am no one,
Yet someone.A soul,
Reincarnated,
Here on this earth.I came here to learn,
To explore,
To play,
To love,
And to be loved.My dedication to growth
Sometimes pulls me
Out of my own flow.I get tired.
And then I remember,
It’s part of the game.All of it.
The rising,
The resting,
The forgetting,
The remembering.It’s all part of the game
We came here to play.Phoenix RisingShe rises —
like a Phoenix from the ashes.
Constantly faced,
with her own cycles
of death and rebirth,
life and decay,
fire and water.
You will never know the depths of your own soul until you dive deep within the murky waters of your shadowed emotions. The journey through the underworld is not for the faint hearted.The FeminineShewho stands,rooted in her power,knows the pathshe has been onwas notan easy one.She knows she has walkedthrough wakes of helland climbed her wayup to heaven again.There’s an innocence to her eyes,and a glimmer in her heart.She loves unconditionally,cares and nurtureswholeheartedly.She fights for what is right,and knows when to fight.When stepping into her queendom,be sure to do so with reverence.As you may get lostin the valleys of her depth,and the beauty of her sorrows.Frommaidento motherto huntressto priestess—she rises,like a fucking goddess.